Drunktimes Article

Issue: Pop Star Lunches and Hangovers From Hell

Top Ten Deserted Island Movies

Thanks to the grace of god I have been stuck on a deserted island and I have a portable DVD player that will never break down or run out of batteries. I see this as a better situation than being stuck with the cast of Lost, or watching Lost but my opinions on that show are for another time. Today my opinions will be directed at what ten movies would I like to be stuck with.

So what do you look for in 10 movies that will be your main form of entertainment for the rest of your life? Better yet, what are you not looking for? All chick flicks are gone, most documentaries are stricken from this debate and anything directed by Gregg Araki, Uwe Boll or M. Night Shamalamadingdong. Everything else is open for me to choose from so here is what I came up with, in no particular order.

My Top Ten List

The Toxic Avenger: This is a given, I could watch it everyday for the rest of my life and never get tired of it. It's filled with violence and nudity plus it is hysterical. It also fills my superhero requirement.

Fast Times at Ridgemont High: This makes the list simply for the red bikini.

Shaun of the Dead: Because it's funny and it has zombies. Not all of my movies need to have nudity, just most of them.

Batman: Mask of the Phantasm: I need to be able to watch cartoon's and if I am going to watch something it might as well be a movie that was produced by the same people who made the awesome mid 90's Batman cartoon. It doesn't hurt that it's a pretty awesome movie as well.

Bikini A Go Go: It's going to be lonely out there by myself, this will help ease the pain.

Empire Strikes Back: Because I love Lando and it is the best Star Wars film by a long way. Sure it is missing Leia in her gold bikini but as you can see, I don't really need many more bikini's.

LOTR extended edition Trilogy: So I am cheating, sue me. Not only are these movies great but watching them straight through will get me through 13 hours of my day which is a great thing when you are all by your lonesome. The only bad part is that if my deserted isle is filled with mountains and Orc's I may get a little scarred.

Major League 2: It has baseball, comedy and some of my favorite lines ever. When I am stuck on this island I am sure going to be thankful to have this movie, maybe I can figure out a way to play fantasy baseball through the plays of this movie.

Showgirls: Plus it has Jessie Spano in it...naked

finally,

Monster Squad: Because Wolfman's got Nards!

There is my list, sure you may not like it but I do. So any questions before I can end this?

Yes, you sir with the Dick Tracy T-shirt on

DTF: But most of these movies sucked
Me: Well it's a great thing then that this is a deserted island and you won't be stuck with me. You there with the bad over bite

BOG: if you were going to cheat and pick LOTR why didn't you just cheat and get all 6 of the Star Wars movies
Me: Was that a real question? Can someone kick this guy out now. OK you the smoking hot chick with the Tron shirt on.

SHTG: Dude, you totally forgot about Transformers the movie.
Me: Excellent question, well I left it off because of the 6 minutes of the Micro Machine man in the film. He just annoys me too much for me to spend the rest of my days with.
SHTG: That makes sense, oh and you are cute, want to come over my house and plays Disks of Tron? Me: You have Disks of Tron? No more questions, I have to escort this lovely lady home.