DrunkTimes Rants

Leaving on a Jet....oh sh**!
June 20, 2007

A few weeks ago one of my roommates,let's call her M, was to go away for a long weekend with her family. To prepare for this event she decided that it would be in her best interest to not pack the night before, hell who hasn't done that? It was to be just a long weekend anyway so what more would you need than a change of clothes and 2 extra pairs of underwear. So this seemed to be a good idea for her.

Then she decided to go out for a few drinks. What could possibly go wrong? After all, it was only 9PM and she would surely be back after a few quick drinks and be able to wake up and be at her parents house by 6Am...packed. Right?


6 am that morning:
My other roommate is banging on my door which is just uncalled for when my alarm is set for 6:15. I answer the door to see him not banging on my door but on her door. Apparently her dad called him to wake M up because she was not answering her phone. The alarm is going off and now I have joined the wake up crew. Her mom is non plussed and she has missed her ride to the airport, we know have to get her up in time for her to get to the airport for her 9AM flight.

This goes on for an hour and a half. During this time the alarm clock continues to go off. We call her friends to have them call her. We continue to knock on the door and wonder how in the world could she still be sleeping and why in the world would she lock her door. Not only is it a fire hazard but if you are out boozing late you might as well do yourself a favor and allow us access in the AM to wake you.


7:35AM:
We take a break. He goes back to sleep and I get ready to go for a run when I see a clue as to what happened the previous night. On my computer on he first floor I notice that myspace is up, she had started to type a message to a friend and it explained that she had been out drinking until 5:30 AM!!! I wasn't shocked so much as amazed at her own disregard for her body and what she would look like on vacation wearing the same thing every day. Christ, I haven't seen 4 on a night of drinking in months never mind the last time I saw 5:30.

Breakthrough, with a catch:
I get home from my run, try calling again and banging on the door to no avail. I start making breakfast when my other roommate comes out again, it's time to get the camera ready because he is taking the door down. He gets into a 3 point stance as if he is going to run and tackle the door when he pops up and gives a door banging one last shot..."huh, what" she lives!

Almost immediately after she answers the door, the fear sets in. It is now 8:25 and she has little to no shot of making it to her flight. My other roommate asks if she needs help packing but stops quickly because he does not want to awkwardly pick up any unmentionables and she just throws clothing into a bag cursing up a storm. She is out of the house within 10 minutes. Our job is done.

Epilogue:
She made it to the airport but had no shot at her flight but thankfully she called her travel agent who set her up on the next flight out. She made it to her vacation 5 hours after her family but she did make it and for our efforts we were heroically rewarded with rum cake, shots and booze. Kind of a fitting gift for why we earned our reward if you ask me.