DrunkTimes Rants

He's going right!
March 1, 2009

Like all wannabe school yard legends who aren't very good, I can't go left on the basketball court. What people don't know is that even before I step on that court I couldn't go right...and by that I mean I could not tie my right shoe. Was it some brain block? Some life debilitating injury? No, I was just too fat to go right.

To make matters and my embarrassment worse even when I did manage to tie my shoe I did it poorly and so my shoes would come untied often during the day causing me to become self conscious as I would try to re-tie my shoe on the middle of a city block as I would not be able to breathe due to my heft as my knee would put too much pressure on my stomach causing this inability. It became so bad that I then gave up and would just shove the laces into my shoe until I got home and then led to me to get boots without laces.

I was at rock bottom but then I started running again and this past Tuesday the impossible happened, I was able to go to my right and tie my shoes...no to learn to use my left hand with basketball because obviously anything can happen when you do the work.